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The Devil’s In The Detail February 12, 2010

Posted by bitchwantstea in Bizarre.
Tags: , , , , , , ,
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BWT had a good giggle today, courtesy of Gumtree.  And we wanted to share it with you, because we love you so much!

Click here and you will be taken to an advertisement posted by ‘Raj’, a lawyer undertaking some professional exams.  He needs a typist to help him transcribe some lectures, and is willing to pay a fair salary.  Sounds good, right?  BUT WAIT!  What’s that noise we hear in the distance?  Could it be the our Rapist Alarm Warning System?  Why, we think it is!

“To benefit, you will need to be a very willing and able candidate who can pick up & produce quality transcripts with accuracy at speed.”

“You will be working from my home (whether you live in or merely visit) and I shall provide you with all the necessary materials and equipment. I cannot permit work to be taken off-site; so if visiting to work or a live-in arrangement is not feasible for you, nor will my offer be.”

“From past experience: I am only seeking individuals who speak fluent English. Females commonly seem to have more of an aptitude for this kind of task than males. Although your relationship / marital status is in fact immaterial, if you do have a partner who might object to either: (i) visiting to work or; (ii) a live-in arrangement or; (iii) insist upon chaperoning you to or at work, there is little point in applying. Age has proven to be immaterial in the past so whether you are 18 or 48; I have no preference. Furthermore, educational background appears to have less correlation to the quality of work produced than I had previously thought – although some kind of college or university education is desirable.”

DING DING DING!  BUT WAIT!  THERE’S MORE!

“If this is something that you think you could manage and are willing to exchange favours – or simply get paid for doing the work I require, please provide me with the following info: age, location, occupation & contact number?”

“Do let me know if you’re male / female – a photo would be fantastic so I know who I’m speaking with.”

“And just a final point: if you also happen to be talented in the kitchen and are particularly keen on a live-in setup and/or are into sport & fitness, this is also something that could be incorporated – over and above or in place of some of the transcription work.”

Sadly BWT is not able to fulfill this position.  We are not talented in the kitchen – especially if we were hacked up into tiny little bits and shoved into a bin-bag first.  Which we’re guessing is the case.  Guess ‘Raj’ didn’t have enough room to fit that bit into the advert.

Ah well!  Guess it’s back to juggling hamsters on the internet.

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